Suffering

I’m in the midst of a life lesson on suffering and attachments.  I like to think of myself as someone who seeks to reduce the suffering in others, but I’m sorely lacking sometimes in dealing with my own suffering.  I’m also recognizing that I also act to increase the suffering of others when they threaten my sense of attachment.  Then I look at the losses of others, and I think that I can’t hold a candle to that.

The suffering comes from the space where something once was.  It is the breaking of a circuit, a shifting of a neuron, a loss, a change.  My heart feels heavy, and there is no relief.  It comes, it goes.  Over the past couple of days, I have laughed with friends and stolen away quietly to cry in solitude.  It is when I am alone that it is the hardest because being alone again was how this ball got rolling.

Time heals things.  Hurry up, time.