I’m in the midst of a life lesson on suffering and attachments. I like to think of myself as someone who seeks to reduce the suffering in others, but I’m sorely lacking sometimes in dealing with my own suffering. I’m also recognizing that I also act to increase the suffering of others when they threaten my sense of attachment. Then I look at the losses of others, and I think that I can’t hold a candle to that.
The suffering comes from the space where something once was. It is the breaking of a circuit, a shifting of a neuron, a loss, a change. My heart feels heavy, and there is no relief. It comes, it goes. Over the past couple of days, I have laughed with friends and stolen away quietly to cry in solitude. It is when I am alone that it is the hardest because being alone again was how this ball got rolling.
Time heals things. Hurry up, time.